| Season 4, Ep 83 - Selkie | |
| Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
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| Air date | July 30, 2023 |
| Episode no. | S04E083 |
| Episode Link | |
| Cast | |
| Hosts | Arnie, Usidore, Chunt |
| Guests | Dearbhla O'Roan |
| Production | |
| Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai |
| Associate Producer | Anna Havermann |
| Post-production coordination | Garrett Schultz |
| Editor | Anna Havermann |
| Logo | Allard Laban |
| Theme music | Andy Poland |
| Sponsor | |
| — | |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Larry Birdman Visits" | "Activia Visits" |
| List of episodes | |
"Selkie" is the eighty-third episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on July 30, 2023.
Description
A selkie asks for help killing the man that stole her skin.
Summary
During the intro, Chunt brings attention to his new "idea hat" (a live crab), which has inspired him to propose a bar for nocturnal creatures, in contrast to the Strange Familiar. Usidore comments that his acquaintance Sunny the Badger is not nocturnal. A jealous Chunt tries to find out more about Sunny and he starts to panic over losing his role on the podcast. Arnie reassures him he has no need to worry, as all of their secret auditions so far of other badgers haven't panned out.
The hosts invite over a woman at the bar, who recognizes Arnie and Usidore but not Chunt. She asks to eat his crab hat and Chunt reluctantly relents. After the hosts offensively guess that she is a mermaid, she reveals she is a selkie named Dearbhla (pronounced Dur-vla). She apologizes that she is so standoffish, stating that she is not used to interacting with people. However, she continues to be frustrated with the hosts at different times, especially with Chunt, from whom she demands more crabs.
Dearbhla reveals she was stuck on land for 10 years after a "wiener of a man" stole her seal skin, married her, and had three children with her. Her daughter Caoimhe (pronounced Quee-va), the youngest and coolest, helped her find her skin and flee back to the sea. Dearhbla asks them to help her kill the unnamed very short man who stole her skin, so that she can take his skin. Usidore calls dibs on the man's bones. When Chunt demurs about murdering someone, Usidore mutters that Sunny would do it.
Arnie asks Chunt and Usidore where they've hidden his pink polo, which they stole several days ago. They reveal it's been in the tablecloth the whole time. Dearbhla is very relieved that he does not belong to his co-hosts, nor does he have to have children with them, though Chunt and perhaps Usidore are amenable to the children idea.
Usidore conjures a tiny horse with a top hat and gifts it to Dearhbla. She names it Ghoubhnaughht (pronounced Gub-nit).
The next scene is outside Dearhbla's old home. Arnie and Chunt are still hesitant about murdering the man, though they want to bring him to justice. Usidore points out that the skinning might not kill him, depending on the kind of creature he is. Dearhbla has mixed feelings about seeing her children again, especially the older two, Porrig and Affrick (true spellings unknown). Inspired, Chunt says he will name his and Arnie's (and Usidore's) child Podcast, or perhaps Chodcast Niekamp the Blue.
Dearhbla and Usidore confront the man, while Arnie and Chunt watch from the window outside. After Usidore binds him to the ground, Caoimhe comes down the stairs. Dearhbla brushes off Usidore's suggestion that the children should go back upstairs. The man affirms that the children all hate him. The children have strange accents due to being "half selkie, half wiener".
Usidore redirects the children to play with Ghoubhnaughht and Dearhbla begins cutting the man's toes with an abalone knife. To their shock, underneath he is a seal: an elksis, the reverse of a selkie. Now in possession of his skin, Dearhbla asks him if he understands how horrible he is. Surprisingly, he does, due to finally going to therapy after being tricked into it by Ghoubhnaughht. This gives Dearhbla pause.
Arnie and Chunt join the rest of the group in the house, and Arnie suggests seeing what's under the seal's skin. Usidore agrees it could be a double-bluff, and secretly still wants the bones. Dearhbla cuts into and peels off the seal's face, to reveal three puffins standing on each other's shoulders. The group is bewildered, and Chunt urges that they cut open the top puffin. This ultimately reveals Sunny the badger. Usidore and Arnie feel deeply betrayed; Chunt is smug.
Though Dearhbla ends the episode confused about the truth of her past, Usidore reassures her that the magic of Foon is often unfathomable. She gives Usidore Sunny's bones. Dearhbla has a semi-private goodbye with her children, leaving them the tiny horse and a bushel of crabs, and promising to visit every few years. The hosts promise Dearhbla to occasionally bring more crabs to the house and begin heading back to the tavern, while she heads back to the sea.
Emails
There are no new emails this week.
New Characters
- Sunny the badger (deceased)
- Dan the bear, to whom Usidore owed money
- Caoimhe, youngest daughter of Dearbhla
- Porrig (spelling unknown), oldest child of Dearbhla
- Affrick (spelling unknown), middle child of Dearbhla
Earth References
- Zoot Suit Riots
- Cinderella
- Skokie
- "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid
- "Crazy" by Seal
- "Maria" from The Sound of Music
- Spider-Man
- "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake
- Incels
- Lucky Charms Cereal
- 1987 Lucky Charms commercial that time travels back to the Stone Age
- "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson
- "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid
Magic
- Usidore summoned a small horse that would fit on top of their tavern table:
- eroth choro korath alahar charathar
- Usidore summoned a top hat for the small summoned horse:
- bing
- Usidore cast a binding spell to help the Selkie get revenge:
- stand down there sir, I am the great wizard Usidore and I have come to help this selkie exact her revenge I shall magically bind thee to the ground
Notes
- Chunt claims the hypothetical clientele of his nocturnal bar could include night owls and knight owls/hoot suits.
- One of Usidore's names is UWU-sidore, according to a cute bunny.
- Usidore has had forest creatures help him obtain a beautiful gown for a ball. He has also sung to wildlife from his window, which was cut short when a bear named Dan attacked him, to whom Usidore owed money.
- When Dearbhla expresses that she finds it hard to tell apart humanoid men, Usidore makes a meta joke about how they all look nothing like Arnie, a dark-haired man with a beard.
- Dearhbla shares that there are clubs of people who look for selkie skins called in-selkies.
- Chunt laments that this was the first episode that they tried recording video for; the hosts decide they shouldn't release it.
- In Foon there are imitation crabs, who act as different characters in variety shows, though not always very well.