| Season 5, Ep 68 - Honk if You're Hungry (w/ Ross Kimball) | |
| Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
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| Air date | August 24, 2025 |
| Episode no. | S05E068 |
| Episode Link | |
| Cast | |
| Hosts | Arnie, Usidore, Chunt |
| Guests | Honk the Assassin |
| Production | |
| Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai |
| Associate Producer | Anna Havermann |
| Post-production coordination | Garrett Schultz |
| Editor | Red Keener |
| Logo | Allard Laban |
| Theme music | Andy Poland |
| Sponsor | |
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| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Five Finger Wolf Man" | "Automa-Tawny the Automaton Townie" |
| List of episodes | |
"Honk if You're Hungry" is the sixty-eighth episode of season five of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on August 24, 2025.
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Table of Contents
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Description
Honk the Assassin is back and you won't believe what he's… okay, fine, he's trying to kill Arnie.
Summary
From the transdimensional space bunker, Chunt delivers the usual disclaimer about the podcast not being real. Meanwhile, on Foon, Usidore and Arnie wonder where Chunt is and speculate that he is busy with romantic escapades. Chunt hurriedly joins them at the table and apologizes for being late. When asked how the new job is going, he says it's been weird but good. As Chunt catches his breath, they start the podcast, though Usidore is thrown off by being introduced first.
A disguised Honk approaches them and offers paninis to the group, which were made by his wife. After revealing his identity, he is invited to be a guest on the show. They recall that they last saw him at The Slippery Eel in Grumbleshire. Usidore starts to eat his panini, but Chunt slaps it out of his hand, and Honk admits there was a tiny knife inside the sandwich.
Honk informs the group that King Tomblain Belaroth has sent him to assassinate Arnie, though he seems reluctant to actually do so. The group has a round of King's Juices. They spot Honk's wife across the tavern, who appears to be a bag stuffed with hay, though Honk hurriedly gets her to leave.
The hosts learn that Honk's wife is named Carla. The pair met while he was on a mission for Tomblain. Carla, a floating bale of hay, approached him and helped him complete multiple murders in the rural countryside. Unfortunately, one of the survivors that night stole Honk's identity and left him in debt to a restaurant called the Barley Corn for 420,000 gold.
Honk admits it's been a while since he killed anybody and that other assassins are leaving him out of social events. The hosts encourage him to build more self-confidence and to charge what he's worth for his services. As it stands, Honk feels he will have incredible difficulty making enough money to purchase the waterfront property he and Carla are interested in; he needs 400 gold pieces by the end of the night, and he would only get 17 for killing Arnie. Usidore gives Honk some business advice and helps him negotiate pricing for killing Goosidore, a special golden goose who is in the tavern. However, Arnie offers Honk 150 gold if he promises not. Throughout the negotiations, Honk struggles to understand how the transaction would work.
Honk explains he owes the 400 gold to a realtor named Marnie, who is a bent tree with a raptor tail. The group set out to find her so that can pay on Honk's behalf. However, they are unable to locate a tree by Honk's description. Now that they are outside, Honk announces that he unfortunately has to kill Arnie. Usidoreand Goosidoreboth step up to defend him. Taking pity on Honk, Arnie and Chunt give him more than enough gold to purchase the property. They ask Honk to try to foil any other assassins who come for Arnie.
Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore return to the tavern, leaving Honk and Carla to have sex. To their surprise, Honk chases after them to pay them even more gold, underscoring how awful he is with money.
Post Credit Scene
The Mysterious Man is irate that his new assistant isn't around for the outro.
Emails
There are no new emails this week.
New Characters
- Goosidore, a golden goose wearing a wizard hat and robes who keeps laying eggs
- Marnie, a bent tree with a raptor tail who is a realtor. It is unclear whether she is real
Recurring Characters
- Grapes the goat
Earth References
- Wife Guy
- Christian Bale
- Follow That Bird, a 1985 Sesame Street movie
- "Higher" by Creed
- House-flipping
Notes
- Usidore has a secret name that can cause lightning to strike the world and break it in twain
- Honk and Carla are growing tangerines in their spare time