The Dark Lord
The Dark Lord
Hello from the Magic Tavern character
First appearance: "Usidore's Quest"
Portrayed by: Unknown
Name: Unknown
Species: Wizard
Occupation: Dark Lord of Foon

The Dark Lord is Usidore's nemesis as well as all of Foon. Usidore is trying to form a group of adventurers to go defeat him.

It is vital that his true name not be uttered aloud, lest his gaze be drawn towards you and great ruin come upon you. It is likely that Merlinda Flimpery may have helped The Dark Lord choose his name. He is also known as The Master or The Dark One. Saying his true name also gives him great power, and his followers often chant his name as a result. However, saying his true name aloud will crack your very soul, and were one to do it too often, they would be devoured by his power. Unfortunately, Usidore accidentally uttered his true name and made him aware of Hogsface.

He often coerces people into aiding him by offering them worldly gifts or immortality as a Soul Walker in exchange for their service. His visage has been described as "darkness incarnate", and it is said that if you were to gaze upon him, it would steal the light from your eyes.

Signs of the Dark Lord include a flaming bird and a flaming cat. It carries many evil portents, viz. the danger of a flaming bird coming into contact with a flaming cat, and the cat is chased by a dog, and that dog is found by an elephant, and they are all on fire and running through the forest.1

The presence of a Dark Lord is a periodic, recurring feature in Foon. When one Dark Lord is defeated, another will eventually rise to take his place. There is a verse Spintax the Green recited that describes the Dark Lord's ascent:

He who holds Book of Sight,
When the moon is drained of all its light,
Shall then be ruler of the night,
Master of the Dark!

He has simplified the tax code in Foon in a way most people, including Usidore, actually like. His attention has been drawn towards Hogsface, as his true name was uttered by Usidore. He wishes to use Arnie to travel to other dimensions and spread his influence there. He both fears and covets control of The Void, hoping to harness its destructive power as a weapon. There is also a rumor that the Dark Lord has a "metal horse", which may in fact be the car Arnie was driving when he came to Foon.

The Dark Lord was a black wizard (but not a racially black wizard) and wore black robes while still part of the Order. He was cast out after becoming the Dark Lord. As only one wizard at a time is identified with a color, it is not clear if he is still the official black wizard. Like all wizards he was initially created by a confluence of magical and natural forces, and there is tree somewhere in Foon that is considered his grandmother.2

He finally appeared in corporeal form at The Vermilion Minotaur to battle (alongside Baron Ragoon, Squibbert , Evil Tannakin and Blemish) and capture Usidore's party just before setting off on their quest.

At the end of his birthday party, the Dark Lord called for a temporary truce with the boys so they could all focus on defeating the oncoming Void. He also gave them control of Hogsface, freeing it from being a prison town.

According to Conrad Von Plotz, friends of the Dark Lord call him "Lord Fred."

Thanks to inside information from sub-minion Chorley, the Dark Lord's organization does not have any company meetings, picnics, birthday parties, or the like on Wednesdays. This is definitely important information for future plans to thwart him and has been dutifully written down.

Physical Appearance

The Dark Lord's physical description is sometimes contradictory:

  • Tall and fat (700 lbs.) but he carries it well
  • Blood red eyes
  • Greasy black hair
  • Terrible bad breath
  • Bluish-gray skin
  • Seven fingers on each hand
  • Kind of short and smells like salt and vinegar chips (per Ffffp)
  • 12 fingers
  • Seven faces (probably, someplace)

Powers and Abilities

  • Ambidextrous
  • Very good at math

According to Tomblain Belaroth, The Dark Lord's powers include:

  • Flying
  • Eating very quickly
  • Seeing through one wall but not the next
  • Sonic levitating (short levitating that emits a sonic pulse which makes your ears bleed)
  • Burning things from the inside
  • Knowledge of true love (painfully, he can know it but cannot have it)


It is unknown who voices the Dark Lord on the podcast.


Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License