Vampires on Foon are very much like the vampires on Earth. They must drink blood to survive, and can create new vampires. However, the blood need not be from humans, and higher-class vampires find human blood boorish. However, they do murder people very often. Vampires can go out into the sun, but they need to wear big floppy hats, otherwise the sun will burn all their hair off and they will look bad.

According to the Pandenomicon, vampires can be killed by a wooden stake through the heart, sunlight, holy water, starvation, broken-heartedness and plagiarism.

Night Court

If a vampire commits a crime against another, they are taken to the worst court in vampire society, the Night Court. It is presided over by the vampire Harry Anderson, and is assisted by his friend, a bull. The Night Court is often covered in a velvet fog, so you cannot see it. Many vampires fear the Night Court, as it is very scary, has a long line, and they yell at you a lot.

Vampire Society

The richest 1% of vampires are the Von Pierres. The richer vampires will wear coats made from the faces of men from the north to show off their wealthy status.

Vampire sex is very fast, usually a matter of seconds.

Other vampires in Foon include Vlad, Chad, Brad, Tad, Ryan, Cad (all brothers), and Thorn. Vlad, Chad, Brad, and Thorn were all killed by the monster hunter Simon Lemmington Bartholomew at the second Chunt for Red October; Tad staked himself after learning his brothers were killed. Cad was killed at the following year's Chunt for Red October by Nathan Goodboy the werewolf.

Vlad, Chad, Brad, Tad, and Cad were played by Matt Young. Thorn was played by Adal Rifai.

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