Winter Solstice Bonus 2019

Winter Solstice Bonus 2019
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date December 22, 2019
Episode no. S03E21B
Episode Link
Hosts Mysterious Man (de facto)
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Anna Havermann
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
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"Winter Solstice Bonus 2019" is a bonus episode from season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on December 22, 2019.


A special holiday song for our wonderful listeners. Enjoy Festival and an Amiable Winter Solstice to All!


A singer presents an ode to Festival, once the most wonderful time of the year for a small mountain village. The holiday attracted the ire of a monster on top of the mountain who has cursed them all to commit crimes for 24 hours.

Hi friends, thank you for visiting our little mountain village and you're just in time because Festival is about to start. Oh, what's Festival, you ask? Why, it's only the greatest holiday in all of Foon. So great we wrote this little song.

Come, friends, gather 'round
For there's wonder abound
Let me spin you a tale of joy
For it's Festival time
Pour the mead, pour the wine
Bring a gift for every girl and boy

For here we believe in compassion and love
To all creatures great and small
Except for the monster who lives at the peak
For he hates us most of all

Because of Festival, Festival
The most wonderful time of the year
Festival, Festival
A holiday of love and cheer

Wait, what was that? You want to hear more about the monster? Buried the lede, you say? Well, I'm not sure why that interests you, but I suppose I could tell you that boring old story.

See, we created Festival
A holiday of love and cheer, that's right
But this creature who claims
That the Grounch is his name
Doesn't like it for reasons unclear
But we did it anyway and it really made him mad
That we violate his grand designs
So he used his magic powers
And for twenty-four hours
He forces us all to do crimes

During Festival, Festival
The most wonderful time of the year (or it was)
Festival, Festival
A holiday of love and cheer

I've burned a boutique to the ground
I've stolen a whole fucking horse
I designed and created
A lethal and bladed
Inflatable obstacle course for kids
I married a papasan chair
I've thrown all my trash in the park
There are several insidious
Weird and ambiguous
Things that I've done in the dark

There are so many terrible crimes I've committed
And every year I am forced to relive it
I'm not gonna say them
I'm sure that you get it
But part of the curse is you never forget it

(He never forgets it, he never forgets it, he never forgets it)

Those are the ghosts of the men I've killed on

Festival, Festival
The most wonderful time of the year (you sing!)
Festival, Festival
A holiday of love and cheer

What's that, my friends?
The song has to end
For our holiday must start
Have some cheer from my flask
Here's a bat and a mask
'Cause shit's about to get dark

A favour, if I might
If you live through the night
Could you make sure our story is told?
'Cause we'd really like help
'Cause we're killing ourselves
And - oh no! The curse takes hold

Festival, Festival
The most wonderful time of the year
Festival, Festival
A holiday of love and cheer

New characters

  • The Grounch

Earth references

  • The Grinch
  • The Purge


The ode to Festival was written and performed by special guest musician Arne Parrott who has previous created the sea shanty version of the main podcast theme.

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