Witches are magic peoples native to Foon. They are also known as warlocks.

Some people tend to refer to females as "witches" and males as "warlocks", but the distinction between the two is not mandatory. Humans can sometimes become witches, but most witches are born as such from witch parents, or are created magically (e.g. mixed up in a cauldron).

Witches worship Big Hat, the Giant Witch.1


Bad witches are known as "bitches" because of the Foonish convention to change the first letter of a word to "b" as a shortening of "bad". Bitches have recently been hunting pinglets for food.

Known witches include:

  • Claudia, a witch of Hogsface
  • April, a witch living near Hogsface who curses those she encounters to be "Unlucky In Love".2
  • Sophie, a witch friend of Chunt's who had a hard time picking appetizers3
  • Calarion, a sea witch
  • Calarion the First, Calarion's mother
  • Trineus, a warlock who always lies
  • Tom Moonchild, who made that baby dance
  • Guguna, a witch with a taste for ironic punishment4
  • Cordelia Stampot, a witch of the Northeast, who grants wishes for a terrible price.5
  • The Technical Difficulties Witch; it is unclear what her true name is, or how Arnie earned her wrath, but this witch will sometimes curse the podcast with technical difficulties
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