Wizards

Wizards are created by various natural forces when they are needed in the land of Foon. They will assume different names in different areas or cultures in order to make it easier for people to remember and pronounce. They go by very long titles, as they like to list their major aliases and record their major accomplishments. They can all assume different forms, have "sight beyond sight", and can enter what is known as the "wizard state".

There are many kinds of wizards, each one with a different color. There is at most one wizard of each color at any given time until one is destroyed or returned to the Realms of Ephysiyies. Each color derives their power from a different source, usually two contradictory forces. However, the color is not an indicator of relative strength or rank. Each wizard can also master one or more Realm of Ephysiyies.

Known Wizards

Color Source of Power Current Wizard
Blue Light and Shadow Usidore
Green Truth and Lies Spintax The Green
Yellow Space and Time Can the Wizard
White Life and Death Telephys The White
Brown Sense and Sensibility Blorth the Brown
Mauve Feast and Famine Jamillious the Mauve
Red Nature and Nurture Jyn'Leeviyah
Black ? The Dark Lord
Clear ? Rolltide

Magic

Wizards should not be confused with magicians, mages, witches, conjurers, or anyone else who learns magic instead of being born with it. Wizards will insist that they are more powerful than any of these people.

Spells

One way of doing magic seems to be speaking spells aloud, and even the untrained can cast simple spells. Spells are shared by writing runes in books and scrolls, and in order to cast them, you must not only know how to read the runes, but interpret them as well. Magic that manipulates things that already exist is much easier than creating things out of nothing (this is Morklor's Law of Appearances).

Wizard State

When a wizard experiences a great amount of focus and/or stress (especially if they are crunched for time), they may go into the wizard state, in which they will be unable to hear the world around them. Despite the name, magical beings who are not wizards can also enter this state as well. It is unclear what the benefit of this is, if there is any.

Wizard Zone

This is a different form of concentration when the wizard has their mind set on a single goal. This differs from the Wizard State in that wizards can hear the outside world and remain cognizant of what they say and do.

Powerful Magic Seething

Occasionally, channelling so much powerful magic through their bodies causes wizards to experience Powerful Magic Seething, a state where they become irritable and enraged.

Wi-Fi

A magical battle between wizards is known as a "wizard fight", or "wi-fi" for short.

Physical Characteristics

Most wizards are created full formed in their adult bodies, and do not age. They are outwardly human by appearance but are very durable and difficult kill. According to Usidore the Blue a wizard cannot be killed by stabbing, freezing, fire, or drowning. A wizard that is maimed or dismembered will regrow a missing part, though it is not always the same part that was lost. All wizards have two buttholes.

Training

Wizards are known to undergo training to hone their magical prowess. The most famous place for wizards to train is the Great Halls of Terr'akkas. There is also The Jizzleknob Preparatory School For Young Wizards, which is a school for children wizards. As wizards are often created fully formed, one presumes that there are a subset of wizards who are created as children and must grow into adulthood.

Notes

  • Because they are immortal, wizard romances will often be drawn-out affairs involving pranks and magical trickery.
  • Wizards can and do have illegitimate children, however, none of them have gone on to do anything noteworthy.
  • Individual wizards are often referred to informally as "the Wiz".
  • Baron Ragoon mentioned that, as a child, his court had a Brown wizard named "Banjo Poptart".1
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